


Bait Me Like Blue Fish

by solitaryjane



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Explicit Language, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-02 23:12:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8687149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solitaryjane/pseuds/solitaryjane
Summary: A group of friends are going to the beautiful islands of Hawaii for a fun Spring Break. Lavi, who's been in love with his best friend for the past two years, decides to confess during the trip. Little does he suspect that he is just one step too late. AU. Alma/Kanda. Kanda/Lavi.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is full-on modern AU. Everyone's in their junior year of college - ages vary but all around late teens/early twenties. Takes place in a major city in the US Midwest, and also partially in Hawaii.

It was Allen who suggested taking a group trip to Hawaii during the break. "My uncle has a place right on the beach," he said one evening, when they were all gathered at the student lounge studying for midterms. "He's renting it out as an Airbnb but I'm sure he'll give us a super discount if I ask."

"Your uncle's a creep," Kanda scoffed. "There's probably dead bodies buried under the floor."

"Nobody said you have to come, ugly!" Allen retorted. And the two started their usual bickering. It was lucky that the lounge was already empty, although Lavi was sure had there been others they'd have quickly cleared out after that. He exchanged an amused look with Lenalee, who rolled her eyes and let out a soft sigh.

"Well, I think that's a marvelous idea," she said, ignoring the menacing look Kanda was giving her. "I could definitely use a nice, relaxing week at the beach. What about you, Lavi?"

Lavi smiled. His childhood was spent in his grandfather's seaside mansion, swimming under the stars and making lopsided castles in the warm, golden sand. The university he was attending was great, but it was landlocked and below freezing for a good third of the year. He'd be utterly lying if he said he didn't miss the salty breeze and the freedom of kicking around in nothing but a pair of shorts.

"Sure, I'm up for that," he answered. "Gramps travel a lot, I could try to convince him to spare some air miles for tickets."

"What, you're actually taking this idiot's fancy seriously?" Kanda interjected. Allen started to yell but was silenced when Lenalee purposely dropped her textbook with a loud, heavy thump.

"None of us are going anywhere if we don't pass our exams," she declared. "We can discuss this later."

They all took that as a cue to return to their respective studies, with Kanda and Allen still taking occasional snipes at each other. Lavi shook his head. A miracle those two remained good friends and roommates. He stole a glance at Kanda's indignant face, and his thoughts wandered from the theorem he was proving to _Yu, half-naked, in swim trunks._ The thought lingered long enough to make him shift uncomfortably in his seat. He turned his eye down, back to the paper scribbled with numbers, and felt like the worst kind of hypocrite.

 

 

Lavi Bookman Jr. had a crush on Yu Kanda since the first day he saw him across the room in their Shakespeare 101 lecture. He had stared like everyone else did, when Kanda took a seat closest to the door and scanned the room with his cool grey eyes. His hair was loose and much shorter then, only reaching past his shoulders, but the muscles bulging underneath the tight black shirt was enough to banish any doubts of his masculinity. But he also exuded a sharp air of aggression, so much that late comers who wanted to sit next to him hurriedly changed their minds. Even the professor, who wandered while she talked, favored the opposite side of the room halfway through lecture.

They were assigned partners from a hat and Lavi got the short straw. After the class was over he sauntered down the steps to the beautiful, stoic man who was to be his partner for the next three weeks. "Hey," he said, deliberately keeping himself out of the other's personal space. "I'm Lavi. I'll be at the library all afternoon if you want to talk about the paper. And here's my email if you like."

Predictably he watched Kanda's face turn from initial resentment to neutral, unguarded surprise. Lavi kept his smile friendly. He had attended six different grade schools on three different continents, encountered a myriad of people with distinct cultures, and his eidetic memory let him recall every significant interaction with ease. He knew that to successfully talk to someone like Yu Kanda he needed to respect his comfort zone and offer nothing remotely resembling attraction. Otherwise it would at best bore the man and at worst, earn his contempt. Neither was good for a first impression.

They did meet up in the library later. Kanda was surprisingly efficient with hard research, although his literary analysis was leagues below what Lavi could accomplish. They made a fantastic team, however, and ended up collaborating on many projects to come. Their relationship graduated from casual acquaintances to occasional drinking buddies, and finally to some semblance of friends. Now, two years later, they were close enough to talk politics and bad dates (men in Lavi's case, nonexistent in Kanda's), and spend the occasional camping trip with their mutual outdoorsy acquaintances. But Kanda had never elaborated on his own preference, and Lavi had never wanted to push. _It's fine the way it is_ , he told himself, wary to break the bond of their friendship. Probably wouldn't work out anyway, if how Kanda reacted to his distant admirers were anything to judge by.

Even though Lavi knew, in his heart of hearts, that he was sinking deeper every day.

 

 

"Alma's coming, too."

Kanda dropped the news almost casually when they were booking their collective tickets. It was after midterms and they were all gathered in Allen and Kanda's dorm room, steadily finishing off the leftover case of beer in the mini fridge. Lavi looked up from his phone when he heard the name, while Lenalee, who was doing the actual ticket purchase, jumped up from her seat with an excited clap.

"Oh my god, really?" her face lit up like a child's on Christmas day. "That is awesome! I haven't seen him since forever! What's he doing now? Is he still attending ICE in New York?"

"He's done," Kanda replied. "Finished last semester. Now he's just trying to find a place he likes."

"Sweet!" Allen also gave a small whoop. "Give me a sec, I gotta call my uncle and ask him to get us a better kitchen."

"Allen…" Lenalee drawled. "You're not thinking of making poor Alma cook for you while on vacation, are you?"

"Well…maybe…once? Twice at most, I promise!"

Lenalee shook her head as Allen bounced into the bathroom to make the call. "Alma grills a _killer_ steak." She made a face at Lavi. "And his chocolate cakes are stupendously delicious. Allen was addicted when he came to visit us last year. You should've been there – oh the two of you would be such good friends."

Lavi pretended not to hear Kanda's groan. Lenalee was probably right – from what he gathered about Alma Karma he sounded like someone Lavi could easily get along with. Despite Kanda's effort to talk about Alma as little as possible Lavi still knew they had grown up on the same street together (along with Lenalee) and were in the same schools until college, when Kanda left for a formal four-year education while Alma stayed and worked in various restaurants until he decided he wanted to become a professional chef. He was the counterpart to Lavi, the "best friend back home" whom Kanda periodically griped about or made odd comparisons to. Lavi found it comical that the thought of the two of them in one room made Kanda so visibly distressed.

"Well, now's a good time as any," Lavi grinned. "But, uh, I don't think my gramps is too keen on footing the bill for a fifth person from New York…"

"No need, he's buying his own ticket," Kanda supplied. "He'll meet us at the airport. I'll let him know the time once we're done here."

"Speaking of that," Lenalee flittered back to her laptop and clicked her mouse with a defiant flourish. "We still need to wait for Mr. Bookman to finalize the purchase, but as of right now - we can properly declare this Hawaiian Spring Break official."

Lavi gave her a high-five just as Allen emerged from the back. Kanda crossed his arms, gave his usual quip about suspicious family members and the albino's insatiable appetite, but Lavi could see a pleased curve of his lips. He took out his phone again to text his grandfather – he'd have to spend most of his summer organizing research notes in the old man's four-story library, but looking at the flurry of snow outside their tightly shut window, it was more than worth the trade.

 

***

 

They arrived at Honolulu International on an exceptionally hot spring day. Lavi was smoldering in his t-shirt and jeans, immensely regretting his decision to skip changing before they exited the airport. Lenalee looked every bit a delight in her shimmery summer dress. Allen had on a ridiculously large sun hat, and Kanda…

Well, let's just say sleeveless tanks had always looked good on him. A dark blue one under the bright Oahu sun especially so.

"Where the fuck is he?" Kanda swore at his phone for the fifth time. Alma's plane had landed but the man had been MIA since his connection flight in LA. It was a problem because Alma was the one who rented the car. _It'll be an awesome surprise!_ he had texted Kanda, and hadn't been heard from since. None of them even knew which company he reserved it at.

"I'll call him again." Kanda's brows couldn't be furrowed further. "Fucker better not be dead."

This time the call went through. Kanda yelled obscenities at his friend's stupidity by the curb. Allen and Lenalee were already on their phones looking for restaurants. Lavi looked up at the cloudless sky and the swaying palm trees. It was hard to believe that not long ago they were all bundled up in scarves and mittens, shaking snow off their hats as they loaded their luggage onto the check-in scale.

"He's coming," Kanda hung up the phone. "His flight landed early so the idiot thought he'd just go get the car and pick us up. Without leaving me a single fucking message, the fucker."

"Aww, it's okay, Kanda," Lenalee said sweetly. "We know you were really worried." Kanda immediately retorted that he would never worry about such a shithead. Lavi rolled his eyes – Kanda wouldn't cuss someone out that much unless he actually cared. It made him feel a little envious, but curiosity over this elusive yet ubiquitous Alma won out in the end.

He opened his mouth to ask the color and make of the car when he heard a sharp screech of tires on the asphalt. A bright red convertible glided in from the corner. It maneuvered around the hunkering shuttle buses and the steady stream of taxis, cruising leisurely down the road with rap music blaring. Lavi raised an eyebrow when it pulled up a few inches in front of them, but everything clicked when Kanda swore again, this time directly at its driver.

"The fuck - _this_ is our car?"

The driver shut off the engine and hopped out of the open top, his grin enormous under a pair of sleek mirror shades. "Why not?" he said, popping the trunk in the back. "If we're gonna do it we should do it in style, Yu."

Lenalee ran up and wrapped him in a hug before he made it fully around. When she pulled back the man whistled, then gave her an exaggerated onceover including the obligatory pulling up of the shades. "Holy smokes, Miss Li, I don't think I've ever seen you looking so lovely."

Lenalee rolled her eyes and playfully smacked him on the shoulder. She snatched the glasses off, to which he made a fake attempt to grab. "It's rude to greet people with that on," she started in a pretentious voice but couldn't keep out the giggles. She then turned toward Lavi, half-dragging the other in front of the redhead like a petulant child to be scolded.

"This is Lavi Bookman, whom I'm sure you've heard plenty of, and Lavi, this – is Alma Karma."

 

 

Alma was a lanky man with a child-like face that perfectly matched his overflowing enthusiasm. His black hair was short and messy, falling rakishly over his deep brown eyes that one almost never saw because of his perpetual grin. There was a scar across his nose, a reminder from a game of tackle football in third grade. His slightly crooked teeth only brought more attention to the mouth that never stopped talking. Lavi had thought himself the epitome of random useless verbiage, especially in unfamiliar situations. Alma got miles on him.

Right now the man was trying (and failing miserably) to pull Kanda into a man hug, while simultaneously keeping up conversations from both Allen and Lenalee. Lavi, along with a pissed off Kanda trying to detach himself from an apparent man-leech, was putting their luggage into the trunk. People were giving them disapproving looks, partly because they did block quite a bit of traffic, partly because, well, there was a freaking siren red convertible driven by a group of college kids. Probably thought they were a bunch of blue-blooded snobs grown up with silver spoons and golden parachutes.

(Lavi was the only one among them who grew up with money. But Alma seemed to know so many "right" kinds of people that to score a car like this for trashing around for a week only costed him a favor from his "friend of a friend whose cousin's a startup CEO's right hand.")

He had greeted Lavi with a grin and a firm handshake, meeting his single green eye with a confident wink. "Hey hey. Yu talked a lot about you, dude. And I mean like, a lot. It's nice to finally put a face to a name."

 _I wish I could say the same about you_ , Lavi thought. But outwardly he put on his friendly smile and said, "Well, it's always good to know that neither one of us is a figment of Y- Kanda's imagination."

Alma laughed loud enough to earn them more glares of disapproval. Allen said something about Kanda didn't have a big enough brain to imagine things and immediately the two began their bickering again. Lavi didn't know why he had switched to Kanda's surname. For some reason it didn't feel right, like there could only be one person using "Yu" at a time and Alma had called dibs on it. He shook his head as he slammed the trunk shut. When he turned around there was a jingling of metal and an arm was draped over his shoulders, the keys to the car dangled in front of his face.

"Care to do the honors?" Alma asked.

"Uh…" Lavi tapped his eyepatch. "I'd like to but I think we're, well, eye-catching enough already. I don't think we'd make it out the airport if you put a cyclops like me behind that thing."

"Aww but it matches your hair perfectly! I swear, when Yu first showed me a pic of you I was dead convinced it was a photoshop. Or at least filtered to oblivion, because I've met a lot of redheads but you," he whistled like he had with Lenalee, "are a beaut."

"Stop hitting on everyone and let's get out of here already," Kanda snatched the keys out of Alma's fingers. " _I'll_ drive."

"Wha – like you're any less eye-catching, Yu."

"…Shut up and get in!"

 

 

Lavi ended up riding shotgun because Alma wanted to sit next to "the most beautiful lady he had the fortune of being acquainted with" and squeezed in the back with Lenalee. He pacified a verbally disgruntled Allen with a bag of pastries he had baked before he left New York. They were of the cupcake variety so they held up, and Lavi had to admit they really were devilishly good. He fed Kanda his share because the cops were trailing them every few blocks looking for an excuse. Too bad Kanda was actually extremely responsible when it came to things like driving.

The convertible cruised its way down Kalakaua Avenue through downtown Waikiki. Lavi punched in the destination in the built-in GPS and let it do all the navigating. He stretched his arms up, feeling the wind and soaking into the warm, salty atmosphere. The conversation in the back dimmed into a pleasant drone in his ears. He was rather impressed with Alma's ability to keep everyone in excellent spirits after their long flight – the man practically had perfected it into an art. He didn't feel the inkling of competition, though. Lenalee was right; he couldn't help but like the guy, too.

Forty minutes later they pulled into a posh-looking complex minutes' walk away from the ocean. Palm trees lined the parking lot and framed the setting sun. There was a giant modern glass sculpture out front and the art deco doors were wide sleek metal. Groves of birds of paradise thrived along the path that led into the lobby.

"Say, Allen," Lavi poked the blond as they took out their luggage from the trunk. "Just how loaded is your uncle anyway?"

Allen's smile was purposely bland. "He's not loaded. He just got a really good deal during the recession."

"Right," Kanda scoffed. " _That's_ what that's called."

"I don't know what you mean and even if it's something else, _I_ wouldn't know of it, would I, stupid?"

"Yu, Yu, come on," Alma put both his hands on Kanda's shoulders, successfully silencing the man's next string of expletives. "It looks nice, okay? Don't ask unnecessary questions."

He gave Lavi a wink as they all piled through the front door. Lavi adjusted the bag on his shoulder, his jeans were sticking to his legs and he just wanted to strip it all off and dive straight into the ocean. At least the lobby was air-conditioned. And very, very expensive looking.

"So!" Alma's voice boomed next to his ear. Lavi nearly jumped, but the arm across his shoulder held him at bay. "I heard you are a certified genius. That true?"

"Uh…if you count a good memory as a type of genius, sure?"

"Ooh, wait, you mean you got one of those photographic recall things? Do you like, remember everything ever all the time? Tell me something Yu said about me, like, a year ago."

Lavi felt himself grin. "He said your flirting skills are seriously lacking."

"Ouch, baby," Alma dramatically hit his heart with a closed fist. "Looks, smarts, and a witty tongue. We would be so good together. What you say, wanna go out with me?"

Lavi raised an eyebrow. "Are you _actually_ asking? Because –"

"No, he is not," Kanda growled, bodily dragging Alma's grip off the redhead. The brunet yelped and said something about Kanda being jealous, which earned him a smack on the head. Lavi watched them squabble down the hall like children. He had never seen Kanda this relaxed with anyone, including himself, which brought out a slight tick of emotion that he hastily, firmly squashed down.

"Sorry, he's usually not this bad," Lenalee said, coming up from behind. "I mean he'll flirt with anything that he finds interesting, but usually Kanda takes up most of his attention." She giggled. "Guess he really does like you – which is great! Kanda was freaking out about it before we left."

"Hey, guys!" Allen interjected, gesturing wildly to the huge window right beside the elevators. "You have _got_ to check out this view!"

 

 

They didn't get the penthouse, much to Alma's disappointment, but the suite they did get was spacious and modern. It had the full kitchen that Allen requested, and the balcony had a spectacular view of the ocean. As soon as they were inside Lavi dropped his bag and headed straight for the glass doors. Behind him Alma was exclaiming over the quartz countertops and Allen was joking about roasting an entire goose in the huge oven. He stared at the setting sun and the glowing beach, and felt like everything around him was starting to melt away.

He was so mesmerized that he only realized everyone else had disappeared when a clamor erupted from the backrooms. "What's going on?" he called back, quickly making his way toward it, passing two bedrooms and a powder room along the way. Everyone seemed to be gathered at the end, however, where he guessed the biggest of the rooms was.

He could hear Kanda yelling before he came anywhere close to its door. "What did I say, beansprout? Your uncle's a fucking pervert!"

Allen mumbled something incoherent but his retort was strangely docile. Lavi looked over Lenalee's shoulder and immediately focused on the strange contraption near the back wall. It was technically a bunk bed, but instead of a single bed on the bottom to match the top it was an awkwardly shaped queen. It could probably fold into a sofa, which Lavi thought was innocuous enough, until he realized that three of them were supposed to share this thing, with two on the same bed beneath.

"Maybe it was meant for a family of three?" Allen provided feebly, to which Kanda helpfully added:

"Sure, except we fucking aren't that and there aren't any extra beds."

"Gentlemen, you're all looking at this the wrong way," laughed Alma. He dove headfirst onto the bottom bunk, grin as wide as ever. "What a perfect voyeur bed, if you're into that sort of thing, which I totally am, just so you know. Come on, Yu, join me. Plenty of room for a really good show."

Kanda flushed bright red before angrily tossing his bag at Alma. The brunet let out a squeal and covered his head as the bag hit his arms with a whump. Allen put his palm to his face while Lenalee just sighed and began to walk away. "I'm going to take a shower in my room," she called back. "You boys figure this one out."

"And which room is that?" Lavi teased. "You know, for reference."

She gave him the look that clearly showed why she was undeniably the smartest among them all. "The one with the jet-stream tub, of course." She said sweetly. "It's also the only room that has a working lock."

Lavi looked back at the two children fight on the awkward bed. _This is going to be interesting_ , he thought, and his mind naturally segued into an image of he and Kanda sharing it while both in their underwear. It made his own face heat up, and to hastily cover up the direction his fantasy had taken Lavi reached over, and pulled the suspiciously quiet blond in a loose chokehold.

"Wow, Allen, I really have to agree with Kanda on this one – your uncle is either the most devious bastard I've had the misfortune of encountering by proxy, or a complete nutcase."

"Hehe," Allen chuckled darkly. "You have no idea."

 

 

They settled into a truce after twenty minutes of squabbling over the delicate situation of faked machismo and even faker desire. It was a good thing that Alma had contained Kanda's wrath mostly to the soft bed, and when it was decided that Yu could have the other room next to Lenalee everything finally fell into place. Allen – being the indirect culprit of the fiasco – got squeezed onto the bottom bunk with Alma. Meanwhile Lavi got the smaller top bunk, but aside from a slight tricky maneuver getting in he had nothing to complain about. Much couldn't be said about the shower, though, as there was only one in the room and everyone was getting pretty ripe by now. A ferocious game of paper rock scissors decided it all, and Lavi, after suffering a completely unfair loss (because they all knew Allen cheated, somehow), was forced to take out a book to wait for his turn.

When he finally emerged from the shower with the day's grime swirling down the drain, the sun had completely set. The condo was curiously quiet, although after a day full of incessant activities the silence was a much coveted respite. He was just starting to wonder if everyone had gone out when the room's door opened, and Kanda walked in.

"Christ, what a day," the brunet dropped onto the bottom bunk, a hand over his face. His still-wet hair was put up in a messy ponytail. Lavi sat down at the edge of the bed, a familiar ache stirring in his chest. It was the first time all day that he had a moment to be with Kanda alone. He didn't realize how much he missed the man's quiet company until now.

"Where's everybody else?" the redhead asked, leaning against the bedpost. Kanda didn't stir, but did peer at him between his fingers.

"Out."

"Doing what?"

"God knows."

"They wouldn't go out to dinner without us, right? I mean, they could, but that'd be kind of mean. Oh, speaking of, you hungry yet? I think there's actually some ramen in the kit –"

"Lavi - shut up! I came here for some fucking quiet, not to hear you talk shit."

A cheeky retort was on the tip of his tongue, but Lavi bit it back. Obviously if Kanda actually wanted silence he'd have stayed in his room, alone, and not seeking out someone known for talking. He slid down next to Yu, motioned for him to move with an emphatic pat on the burnet's bare legs. Kanda obliged, and Lavi found himself stretched out on the mattress, the pillows a flimsy barrier between them. He tried not to think about how easy it would be to roll over. Just a natural turn of his shoulders, and he'd be on top of Yu, and then all he needed was to lower his head…

Alma's wide grin chose that moment to intrude into his quite scandalous thoughts. Lavi jerked on reflex, startling the sleepy man beside him. Kanda threw him a dirty look, and Lavi, scrambling to push aside everything in his mind, tried to shrug as nonchalantly as he could.

"Sorry, had an itch."

"Sure you did," Kanda scoffed. "Don't you start, too."

"Whatever are you talking about, Yu?"

He was almost proud of his effortless retort, even more than he was at keeping his desires at bay. Kanda scoffed and turned away, but not so much that Lavi couldn't still see the water droplets on the muscles of his chest. His eye roamed down, past the hand resting on the six-pack abs to the faint line of fuzz disappearing into the waistband of his shorts, and felt his mouth go dry.

Perhaps it was the fact that they were thousands of miles away from their everyday university life. Or the scent of tropical flowers and the lull of the ocean had gotten into his head. Or it was just plain jetlag and exhaustion. But Lavi had never wanted to confess as much as he did at this moment. Rejection be damned, he at least had to let Kanda know. His brain was yelling at him but his heart was filled with bravery. _Fuck, just do it, Bookman. What's the worst that could happen?_

(Quite a lot, but he scolded his logic harshly and it, impressively, did shut up.)

"Say, Yu…" he started. Kanda's eyes opened at his name and Lavi focused diligently on the springs of the bed above them, not even daring a single glimpse.

"Yes?"

The second attempt didn't go any smoother. "Yu," the redhead swallowed, throat parched like sandpaper. "I – I've just been wondering if –"

There was a knock at the door, barely audible but nearly gave Lavi a heart attack. He sprung up from the bed, narrowly avoiding smashing his head into the top bunk. He did not miss Kanda's questioning look and felt his face burn to the roots of his hair.

"Come in," Kanda said, slowly sitting up on the bed.

Lenalee entered with a flutter. Astute as usual, she paused in her stride when she sensed the odd tension in the room. "Did I interrupt something?" she asked, innocent eyes going back and forth. "I can come back…"

"No no, it's fine," Lavi said hastily. "I was, uh, it's just that I didn't realize anyone else's in – I mean not like we're doing any – I, um," he cleared his throat. "I just thought you're out with Allen, you know. So, uh, what's up?"

Lenalee politely ignored his very noticeable babble and continued. "Well, Allen just called and said we should all get down to the pier. Apparently he and Alma caught two buckets of prawns for our dinner. Oh, and we need to bring stuff to cook it with."

Lavi raised an eyebrow. "Like, fire and charcoal?"

"No, silly," she rolled her eyes. "Like that camp stove I found in the cupboard. And some lemons, I guess. Let's get going! It's not far - we can walk there in fifteen minutes."

Kanda rolled out of bed with an annoyed sigh. "Fuck those two morons – we have to make our own dinner, now?"

" _We_ 're not making anything," Lenalee said. " _Alma_ 's making us dinner – really, Kanda, how ungrateful."

"For real, Yu," Lavi added. "Plus, it's seafood fresh from the ocean, what more do you want?"

"Properly cooked food," Kanda replied. Lenalee shook her head and went out toward the kitchen. Lavi laughed and started to follow, relieved that the tension was dissipating, but Kanda's hand on his wrist abruptly stopped his heart again.

"Wait. What were you going to say before she came in?"

The words were swirling on the tip of his tongue but Lavi swallowed them back down to his heart. His logic had taken over and the recklessness of that moment was gone for good. So he just straightened up, and put on his ordinary, dazzling smile.

"Nothing, it's really nothing important. Come on, slowpoke, get dressed. I'll race ya to the pier!"

 

 

They spent the rest of the evening out on the beach, gathered around the small camp stove under a rock alcove. Alma cooked fresh prawns in lemon juice and cracked inappropriate jokes about collectively sucking (shrimp) heads. They downed packs of Kona beer and talked about their lives and dreams and the state of the world until the moon was high in the sky. When the last prawn was gone Allen had already fallen asleep on the sands with a drooling smile. Lavi was still sober enough to recognize it was too chilly to impromptu sleep outdoors, so he and a stone-sober Kanda somehow got the ragtag team back to the condo.

It was one of the most memorable experiences Lavi'd ever had. Even though, looking back, he knew he should've taken his chance and finished the confession after he and Kanda deposited the drunks into their respective beds. Instead they just bid good night to each other, and Lavi climbed into his bunk and straight passed out.

He woke up around noon the next day to the scent of the ocean breeze and only slightly hungover. The apartment was empty save for a still sleeping Allen Walker. He found a note on the fridge saying the other three had gone down for a swim. Itching to jump in the water himself, Lavi threw on his shorts and wolfed down some bagel left out on the counter. He was chugging cold-brewed coffee (Kanda's favorite drink, aside from _sake_ ) when Allen finally stumbled out the room.

"'Morning, Allen," Lavi grinned around a mouthful of bagel. "Or rather, 'afternoon."

Allen yawned, rubbing sleep from his bleary eyes. "Where is everybody else?"

"At the beach, I wager."

"Gosh, ugh, could I have some of that, please? My head's killing me."

Lavi poured the blond a cup. "You kind of drank your body weight in beer last night, buddy. I'm not a bit surprised."

"Lenalee said she wanted to do some sightseeing today." Allen ignored his jab, instead gulped down the bitter, cold liquid like medicine. "You want to come with?"

"Nah. I think I'll just swim until I can't anymore."

He was quite serious with his plan, despite Allen's dubious looks. There had never been a childhood summer where he didn't swim until his fair skin tanned and his freckles began to show. He found the rest of the group chilling on a strip near the Waikiki Wall. Lenalee was sunbathing while Alma tried to teach Kanda how to surf. It was another gorgeous day and the ocean was the perfect temperature. Lavi swam far enough to avoid the crowd and stroked at the sky, mind blissfully devoid of thoughts save the one that kept resurfacing like waves on the sands.

 _Later today,_ he told himself. _I'll try again later today, whenever we're alone. It'll be fine. The worst he'll do is say no. And it might be weird for a while but, we'll get through that. It'll be just fine._

Hindsight was always 20/20. And it always hurt like a bitch.

 

 

He came back to the apartment before sundown and knew at once he had overdone it. His leg muscles were doing that odd twitch thing right before they become a sore mess, and there was the throbbing pain of sunburn blisters along his neck and back. No one else was back yet, so Lavi dropped his swim trunks into the wash and hopped into the shower. Ten minutes later he dragged himself onto the top bunk, wet hair a splotch on the pillow, and fell once again into a tired sleep.

He woke up to a darkened room and voices from the living room. Still too groggy to sit up, he lay on the bed and half-paid attention when the bedroom door opened. The light spilled in from the hallway and he recognized Alma's voice right away. However, it was hushed and subdued, devoid of the over-the-top mirth and unfamiliar in its intimate intensity. If the room wasn't so quiet to begin with Lavi wouldn't have been able to discern the words at all.

"Yu, come on, let's do it, I've been holding it in since the airport, man."

"The fuck you doing, idiot?" Kanda's voice, starting sharp but quickly dropping to a low whisper. "Lavi's in here sleeping!"

"Huh? Oh, you're right." A few muffled steps. "He looks like he's out cold, though."

"…does that matter? We – mmfhhh."

Lavi thought Alma had put his fingers onto Kanda's lips to keep him from shouting. There was an obvious scuffle after, and the redhead almost sat up to see what the fuss was. But his brain was tripping over the first thing Alma had said, so he remained still on the bed, face buried in the pillow. The sound ceased when Kanda made another noise, and seemed to have pulled away.

"…S-Stop!"

"Yu, babe, come, on. I'm so fucking horny – look how hard I am already. It's fine – he's asleep. Plus, doesn't that stuff turn you on?"

Lavi's eye snapped open. The words still refused to register in the right order, but any lingering drowsiness was blown away by the sheer weight of its intent. Gentle sucking sounds permeated the room, of skin meeting skin and the wet slip of saliva, of breathy moans and inadvertent sighs and Alma's soft, sensual murmur. The door closed quietly as they backed into it, knuckles rapping against its surface in a tic-tic rhythm, and then his brain finally decided to kick in -

They were _kissing_. They were _fucking_ _kissing_ inside the room he was not-at-all sleeping in, and everything was so fucking _quiet_ that Lavi could hear every, single, damn, _thing_. _This can't be happening_ , his brain supplied. Maybe he was dreaming and there was nothing but his own fervid imagination. Maybe this was just a symptom of what his thoughts had been for the past two days and he really, really was still invariably, deeply asleep.

Except he could see the swaying shadows on the walls from the lingering dusk. He could smell the damn sweet tropical flowers and hear cars honking from the streets below. Yu moaned into Alma's mouth and Lavi could almost see the expression he wore. (Almost, because he personally wouldn't have known.) The thought made him close his eye again, and squeezed it so tight white spots exploded behind the lid.

Just how the hell did he miss this? Sure, Kanda had never breathed a word of it and there wasn't any indication that Alma and Kanda were – fucking? Dating? Anything. But he was Lavi Bookman Jr., capable of deciphering social cues and group dynamic in seconds, requiring mere minutes to judge a full room, and he had, consciously or not, ignored every single telltale sign for the past few _days_. The minute Alma hopped out of the convertible he should've known. There was atrocious flirting but those laughing eyes were always focused in Kanda's direction, and the casual, confident ease he talked with Lavi only cemented that he wasn't anything even close to a threat. Because Lavi wasn't. Lavi really was just that platonic, normal, best, _friend_ , while Alma, well, Alma Karma was anything but.

"We should do this in my room," Kanda said between kisses. Alma made an annoyed noise, obviously unconvinced.

"No way, that bed's fucking lumpy, ok? And too small. This works, and stop talking and strip because ohhhh, god, I can't wait to be inside you."

More shuffling, pressing, sucking, and then the bed shook and dipped as the two fell into the bunk below. The bed moved with their gentle movements, not enough to wake someone in slumber, more than enough to send jolts of pain into Lavi's still disbelieving heart. To this day he didn't know why he had lain there throughout the ordeal. He could've easily gotten up and walked away. He could've interrupted their activity in almost any fashion and it would've been justified, because he was just a friend ( _friend_ ) taking a nap and even good friends didn't need to experience this shit firsthand. He could come out of this a little embarrassed but mostly fine. He could also pretend none of this happened and that he was really unconscious the whole time. No one would contradict him, even if they suspected. That would be fine, too.

But fuck, goddamn _fuck_ he couldn't make himself rise a measly inch from the bed. For once his genius brain couldn't manage to _think_ , let alone _pretend_. He discerned every pleasurable sound that floated from Yu's lips. Alma's murmuring litany of "I love you, Yu, I fucking love you" rose through the mattress, mingled with the pungent scent of sex. At one point Lavi had to bite his knuckles to keep himself from making any noise and give away that, why yes, he was listening to the love of his life getting fucked by someone else, oblivious to the heart that was bleeding in secret because of a simple, fatal, naive misconception – that Yu was waiting for him. That Yu was waiting, period.

They took roughly twenty minutes from start to finish. By the end every muscle in Lavi's body ached from tension. He felt like he should be angry, livid from betrayal, but he knew that was just irrational jealousy manifesting. It was no one's fault, except maybe his own, and that only made it all the more painful.

He waited until the two had disappeared into the bathroom to clean up before finally rolling over. The ceiling seemed to press down, stifling his lungs with its innocent weight. Lavi stared at it, counting out the seconds until the water shut off and the door opened again. He didn't turn his head until the lingering affections wrapped up and Alma exited the room. A table lamp switched on, warm and comforting, and the familiar noise of Kanda cursing softly in front of the vanity reached his ears.

Kanda was brushing out the perfect sleek waterfall of his hair. Lavi watched the smooth motion of the muscular arm, freeing the tangles that knotted up the shiny black strands. The light illuminated the huge hickie that peeked from the open shirt collar. Lavi wanted to scratch it off with his bare fingernails. Even more than he wanted to scream.

Instead he simply swallowed down the bile and sat up. The motion gave him a mild head rush, and as he adjusted he saw Kanda's startled look from the reflection in the mirror. He saw sudden understanding flood those grey eyes and the comb dropping onto the counter with a clatter. Lavi wasn't surprised – he couldn't see his own expression but he was sure his face hid nothing. He had never felt more vulnerable in his life, but the last thing he wanted to do then was to acknowledge it.

Kanda opened his mouth but shut it again quickly. _Good,_ Lavi thought, a trifle malicious. _There really was nothing to say._ Outside the room the excited voices of Lenalee and Allen filtered through the walls. Lavi wiped away his grimace, donned a neutral mask on his face, and left the room without a backward glance.

 

 

Later that night Alma bought him a beer as an apology. They were at a bar across the street, squeezed around a stone table on the terrace. Lenalee and Allen were in the middle of reciting their afternoon adventures when a bottle of Coconut Porter landed in front of Lavi like an anvil. The redhead looked up, into the same grin that mere hours ago was infinitely less irritating, and raised an eyebrow.

"Yu kinda told me you weren't _quite_ asleep earlier," a shrug, a brighter smile, "I'm super sorry, dude. Your tab's on me tonight."

 _You have no idea what you're apologizing for,_ Lavi thought. But outwardly he smiled and accepted the beer, clinking Alma's own bottle in a toast. "You sure about that?" he said, tone light as a feather. "I am part Irish, you know."

Alma's loud laugh was cut short when Kanda jabbed him, not very gently, at his side. Lavi ignored the scuffle that followed, only brought the bottle to his lips and tossed the dark ale back in one continuous swallow. He hadn't spoken to Kanda ever since he left; wouldn't be able to hold it back if he did. So the only way to avoid a complete meltdown was to close himself off, even more than his usual fare. He had not so much as looked at the man, and had zero desire to do so in the next few hours.

In contrast he found Alma Karma very easy to deal with. They were practically strangers, after all. Although the brunet had essentially taken the spot that Lavi coveted for years, the man was still largely a factor unknown. Ironic, really, if Lavi thought about it. But it was infinitely simpler to keep a mask in place when the one watching couldn't accurately read his micro-expressions. Like Lenalee would. Like Kanda did.

He narrowly kept himself from throwing the empty bottle when he finished. It still made a sizeable noise on the counter, which gave him the attention of three pairs of staring eyes. "What, I was thirsty, alright? It was good!" He said. "And it's free."

"That it sure is, gorgeous," Alma clicked his tongue. "Want another?"

"Sure. Thanks."

"I'll go get it," Kanda stood up, looked everywhere but the redhead, and walked off stiffly. Lavi watched his retreating back, and felt the same knot in his stomach from earlier start up again.

"Um," Allen raised a tentative hand, "excuse me, but, did something happen that we perhaps should know?"

"Did something indeed," answered Alma. "I'll let you on the secret, Al, and brace yourself, 'cause it is a big one."

Lavi tuned out the inevitable recount. When the good-natured jokes started he answered with equal gusto, but his heart wasn't in it and the jabs died down soon afterwards. When Kanda returned with his beer he nodded a simple thanks and sipped it – not that he didn't want to chug it like before but he really didn't want the alcohol to meddle with his self-restraint. When they wrapped up for the night Lavi separated himself from the group, turning toward the oceanfront rather than back to the condo.

"I'm gonna take a stroll down the boardwalk," he said. "It's really nice out."

"Do you want some company?" Lenalee asked.

"Nah. I mean, thanks for the offer, but I kinda just really want to soak it in – the place sort of got me homesick, heh."

If Lenalee noticed how awkward the lie was she didn't press it. "Well, just be careful then. And don't get arrested for loitering – we don't have time to bail you out."

"Or the money!" Alma cracked. Lavi shook his head, feigned amusement, and gave a half-hearted mock salute.

"Aye aye, cap," he said. With his hands firmly in his pockets he turned and walked off, posture an almost casual stroll, and finally let his smile drop.

 

 

The boardwalk up to Queen Kapiolani Beach was crowded and bright, lit with festive lights and lined with souvenir stalls along its perimeter. Throngs of chattering tourists funneled through, splitting off in groups to wander toward the beach or the city proper. Lavi leisurely followed the crowd. He could almost taste the salt in the wind, cool and refreshing on his overheated face. Those beers he had chugged in half-defiance had worked through his system. His mind was clear and his emotions even, something he didn't realize was possible until now.

It took a good hour of aimless wandering for the jumble in his head to untangle. Sure, his heart still hurt and the sense of betrayal lingered like a nasty cold, but he was no longer angry. Kanda Yu was with Alma Karma, whether he accepted it or not. Lavi Bookman Jr. simply waited too long to confess, and that, as they say, was that.

He thought about how to deal with it for the next few days. Surely he couldn't just shut himself in a room and ignore everyone else, and throwing a tantrum or sulking like a teenager was also, as Kanda tend to put it, idiotic. Yu was his _best friend_ , for heaven's sake. He should be _happy_ for the man, because Lavi of all people knew how hard it was to find love. He should be dishing out sarcastic, over-the top congratulations, and ribbing on Alma for being such a horny asshole, and slamming down kegs of beer and get rowdy and drunk along with his friends on vacation. _That_ was how it should've entailed, not whatever this pity party he was throwing himself had been.

(Of course if he added in that pesky love-of-his-life bit his reaction was a bit more justifiable, but he wasn't going to think about that anymore.)

He tripped over a dip on the ground and nearly stumbled into a passerby. Lavi shook his head, his attention snapping back to the present. At some point in his deliberations he had veered off the boardwalk and traipsed onto the beach. The sand snuck between his toes, ticklish and scratchy. In the distance he could see the ocean waves lapping against a blurred shoreline. _Might not be too bad to sleep out here_ , he thought. There was no way he could get back to that bed, and judging by the number of active people still out at this hour, it might not be too farfetched to try.

Well, sleep or not he needed to sit. His leg muscles was about to give out, taut and aching from the exertions earlier. He walked further, found a secluded spot and practically fell onto the sands. The sound of the ocean filled his ears, drowning out memories of squeaking springs and sloppy kisses. His mind recalled the familiar images of his beachy childhood, juxtaposed against the illuminated sky. Lavi stared into its depth, and felt his eye slowly drift close.

 

 

A rustling noise startled him awake. He sat up quickly, groggy mind uncomprehending as a jacket slid of his chest after the short doze. It dissipated, however, when he turned and saw who but Kanda sitting a foot away, glowering at him with the glare of a thousand burnt suns.

Lavi had to fake a cough to cover up his surprise. "H-Hey, Yu," he said meekly. "Um, what're you doing here?"

Kanda's narrowed gaze cut through him like a sword. "What do you think, idiot?" the brunet scowled. "Were you deaf when Lenalee said we weren't going to bail you out?"

"What? I'm just here minding my own business, Yu –"

"Right. Because loitering isn't a crime."

"Oh come on, I wasn't actually gonna sleep out here like a bum, okay? I mean I did think about it for a bit but – anyway, I was just…resting my eyes. It gets tired easier since there's only one of it, you know?"

He half-expected a clobber on the head for that stupid comment, but Kanda only groaned and put a hand onto his face. Lavi felt a flicker of smile rise to his lips. Being around Kanda made him happy, no matter what transpired between them. Lavi had long since accepted this as a fact of his life.

A silence followed after that. Lavi stole glances at the man next to him, trying hard to not stare at Kanda's sharp profile and chiseled jawline under the contrasting shadows. It made Lavi remember how close he was to kiss those thin enticing lips, eons ago. It also made him remember the stinging ache of regret.

He knew they had to talk about the obvious, sooner or later, if he wanted them to remain friends. Well, nothing like the present, it seemed. They were due for a good tête-à-tête anyway. So he opened his mouth, steadied his voice, and said:

"So. Alma, huh? You guys doing alright?"

The topic predictably caught the burnet off-guard. "Y-Yeah." Kanda stammered, hands fidgeting. "It's, it's been – okay."

"You just woke up one day and thought, 'oh hey, love of my life is here all along!' and decide, well, fuck it?"

"No! That's not even remotely - Christ, you're just as bad as that idiot. How the fuck did I end up knowing the two most obnoxious shits in this universe?"

"Careful there, Yu, or someone might think you have a _type_."

"Tch. Fuck off."

Lavi grinned. It was rare to see Yu so flustered, which made it all the more endearing. "Whatever," the redhead sighed, smoothing back his mussed hair. "You know, you could've told me. Before any of this. Would've spared us all this awkward shit."

There was a drawn-out silence. Kanda stared into the distance, grey eyes pinpricks of light in the dark. Lavi waited patiently. He didn't mean to be this direct, but it was a relief to say it so honestly. He'd had enough of this bullshit.

"You're right," came a whisper a few moments later. "I should have. I'm sorry."

Lavi blinked. Out of the two years of their friendship Kanda had apologized to him exactly twice: once for accidentally breaking Lavi's TV while illegally practice kendo in his dormroom; the other when he thought Lavi's grandfather was a burglar when he came to visit unannounced. It made Lavi take pause, to say the least. But he held his tongue as Kanda continued, voice barely carried over the sound of the sea.

"It started last year. I didn't think it was that all that important to…share…at the time, but there wasn't a good time after, either." He took in a breath. "Alma, he asked me to hang out and – it was nice."

"Yeah, 'nice', that's one way to put it," Lavi teased, and watched the death glare return. "It's all good, man. I'm – glad – that you're happy. Just…keep all that happiness away from sleeping people in the room next time, ok?"

He received a punch on his arm for that, but also the relief of reserved gratitude. Lavi stifled a yawn. It was getting slightly windy, and goosebumps were forming on his bare legs. Perhaps spending the night in a temperature-controlled condo was a better choice after all.

"Well, isn't it great that we got all this stuff talked out? Sure made me feel like I just moved a boulder off my shoulders. Oy, you think if I buy Lenalee some cute hair ties she won't chew me out for the next hour once we get back?"

"Not a bloody chance," Kanda smirked. And Lavi, despite himself, grinned back.

 

 

He did not manage to escape Lenalee's lecture, although it was relegated to the morning and cut short by Alma's timely rib about how Kanda must be cheating on him since he spent so much effort to track the redhead down. It descent into rightful chaos as the four of them (Allen was too busy munching on a breakfast breadfruit to participate) squabbled their way through the Big Island volcano tour. Kanda threatened more than once to chuck Alma into the lava. It was a miracle they weren't all kicked off the tour for disturbance, Lavi thought, as Alma pretend to timidly hide behind him ("Babe, you're the tallest one here. And Yu wouldn't hurt you if he's cheating on me with ya, right?") Lavi didn't know whether to laugh or cry, because irony couldn't even begin to cover that assertion.

On the last day they all hurriedly scrambled out of the condo, dragging a colorful train of souvenir-laden luggage behind them. Alma went to return the convertible while the rest piled into a bright yellow Uber jeep. It was another minor miracle that they all managed to make to the plane on time, including Alma who, predictably, arrived merely minutes before the closing of the gate. With some superhuman sweet talk he also managed to swap out his middle seat in the back with the windowed one next to Kanda. Allen rightfully called him the shadiest slick this side of the Pacific, to which the accused only ducked his head and said, with a stuck-out tongue, "Well, yeah, how else could I land a hot babe like Yu with zero effort, eh?"

The remark lingered in Lavi's head long after they'd settled down for the flight. He didn't believe a word of it, of course – it was beyond obvious how much effort Alma had poured into courting Kanda. But he wasn't as bothered as he'd initially expected. The way Yu and Alma meshed together was a perfect balance, perpetual and seamless like the proverbial yin and yang. It wasn't that Kanda was closed off in general, Lavi realized now. He didn't progress in chipping off Yu's armor because he wasn't meant to, and that, strangely, brought about a comfortable sense of closure. His heart could endure this and move on, perhaps find new love along the way, and everything would sink into place like stones in water.

When the plane touched back down to the university's wintery landscape Lavi was as cold and stiff as the brisk weather. Yet his smile was in place, and the disparagement he loudly declared against the frigid wind was natural and convincing. Sure, there'd be some subtle changes in the way he and Kanda navigate their personal space for the next few weeks, but their friendship would eventually resume its familiar dynamic. Plus, he'd get to see Kanda as he'd never done before: a more grounded person with an open soul and honest tenderness. It made Lavi happier. It brought their group closer. It made everything better.

Alma made everything better, for Yu.

 

***

 

Six months later, Alma died.

 

 

 

_to be continued..._


End file.
